January 2012
28 posts
where is she?
mean jokes are shitty and lame. it’s supposed to be funny, not mean. you miss the point of humor if you think it’s all about taking shots. a frog is funny. a dance party of all your fat friends is “funny”. if there’s no joy in your humor, then fuck it!
i need a girlfriend pronto.
“A robin redbreast in a cage Puts all heaven in a rage”
don’t go home angelina. paint tomorrow blue. (day breaks and every morning when he wakes he thinks of you.)
don’t be such a drag! life is exciting! there’s magic out there! there are dragons! bring home alien fabrege eggs! are you having a good day? well, this is it! you don’t get another chance! be here now! most of all, be patient. that is why isabelle dropped out. i need to chant more. i can’t wait for briall to get here. i am so excited. everything is coming up boners!...
did not hear back.
i always shot my wad. do you know what i mean? i am an easy person. i don’t really make plans. i usually just go with the flow. i always say exactly what’s on my mind. but i just blow it! i must look foolish, grinning all the time. i need to shut the fuck up now and then. i hope i get a girlfriend soon.
you’ll never know how much you meant to me.
In my dream last night, I was in a white, enclosed room full of Christians proselytizing, and I kept saying, “yeah, yeah, yeah,” and agreeing with everything they said, but then I closed my eyes and felt the vibration of a deep, low tone and I got into lotus position and started chanting OM. I could feel my thinking come to a halt. Meanwhile, the Christians were offended by what they...
I had a dream about Johannah. We were in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I don’t remember what words she used or how our conversation went, but we were talking and she explained to me that she loves to use hard drugs and give public blow jobs. It was not a pleasant dream. It didn’t feel good. I woke up feeling pathetic and alone.
There were a few stumbles on the date. The first was that when she first saw me on the sidewalk waiting for her, she immediately wanted to hug me, but my body language said “don’t touch!” I tensed up and flinched at the sudden hug coming from a stranger who I hadn’t even really met yet. This is important, because she later revealed she was going to a therapy group tomorrow...
it was very cute. I hope we meet again.
Listen
finally, and this is a doozy: i think i’m in love with alice. her name is actually laurel, by the way.
i am going on a walk and drinking a hot pot of tea on my floor with red, a farm-girl from redmond. (????) “farm girls don’t wash up.” i haven’t even called briall yet. jesus. oh ganesha. i am shredding up the waves of dharma. i am doing 360 dharma tricks. rent is getting paid tomorrow! (oh shit!) i am pretty much set on a golden path to good times. brrrrrr!!! it’s...
i have been clearing out my space of bullshit. i put my futon mattress on the floor. i need to get closer to the earth. it has instantly fixed my back and neck pain. new year’s eve was fun. i got crunk with victoria and brandon. later, we were at a party and someone pulled my phone out of my coat and sent everyone texts while i was wandering around in a daze. i was trying to talk to the...
December 2011
14 posts
there is this girl named briall dang who is just a girl. she is only 18. she kept coming into subway to give me her phone number and i finally took it. i feel weird, because she is so young. i’m also flattered and can’t deny i’m interested. nobody has gone to that effort to get my attention in a really long time. we once smoked weed behind the store. she rolled us up a joint. she...
i had a dream that i squished my phone and the screen was ruined. I was pissed, because I couldn’t talk to celina anymore, so I broke it in half. my mom was in the dream too, and she asked why i did that. i said it didn’t matter because i was going to buy another phone anyway. it was a pissed off dream. i hate how busy she is with her new boyfriend. i wish she would get a life and hang...
the last image is i think about social anxiety. i’ve beaten my karmic meat to pulp with respect to relationships by getting tons of girls numbers and then never calling anyone. i wish i could meet somebody who liked me enough to like, insist that i meet them and be persistent and insistent and demanding. i want to be chased. it is almost kind of gay. my gender is scrambled. girls tell me,...
I had a fantastic dream of three images. one was a map of a tiny island, where the island was very small on the map. then there was a room, in an empty house with cabinets full of plates, in total darkness, and a spotlight passed over tables with all kinds of different poisonous mushrooms on plates. spores collected on them and they seemed to have been left alone for quite a long time. there were...
November 2011
11 posts
prepare for launch.
repairs nearing completion. I’m growing older.
